Saturday, April 24, 2010

Baby, New Venture and Dad

Oh so so much has gone on in my 4 month disappearance. First off only 4 more weeks till baby is here may be sooner as things are reeeelly starting to progress that I am not sure if the June 2nd date that will be accurate at all. Energy is down and my super fast mode of whipping around house and going to town for shopping adventures is very limited :(.That reaaaaaally makes me frustrated when the most simple things like laundry,sweeping or picking up socks is so hard to do now . But being only 34 weeks if I do not take it easy and relax pre-term labor is in the cards for me and not something I want believe me, so fingers crossed I make it to at least 38 weeks!

With all the rest and time on my hands to do "non active" things it can drive one crazy so I turned to my art muse for creativeness..but sadly he has gone and no where to be found not sure if he will return and not sure if I want him too. My state of mind with this pregnancy has changed quite a bit to where my thoughts seem to stay in a lighter mode instead of dark and macabre. I became more drawn to the natural and earthy way of living . I have always loved my Hispanic roots of home remedies and medicines, gypsy cures,kitchen witch magic but lately it seems I more intrigued by them and feel comfortable in going that route when making any creations. A lot I have not listed because not sure what people will think or even buy because it is such a change for me. I did however give into a new venture and since I closed down VMB I have missed making soaps and perfumes. I missed it so much that in January I opened a little Etsy shop where I sell a new line of bath and body products centered around a gypsy theme of home made natural perfumes, soaps and salts, I call this venture "Midnight Gypsy Alchemy ". Very different from what I made at VMB with synthetics and artificial coloring and only 6 scents to where I can keep up with my orders very, very easily and not have to deal with wholesale, 3 websites,42 scents and working 7 days a week after my regular job !!.

So far it has been wonderful, laid back, easy to manage and I still get my perfume making fix now that I can tolerate smells again and still spend lots of time with my family . It will still be something that after the baby is born I can still fulfill orders with out pulling my hair out ! If you are interested I have made another blog for it "Musings from A Midnight Gypsy "which you can drop by and see what is going on with that as well . Truth be told I probably will start a new line of art work that matches this gypsy theme and change the name on this one, so if one day you drop in and see the blog name changed you will know what happened and I hope many will still follow even though the creations will not be as dark .

Another event that has kept me away and sadly I say that in March I lost my father in Texas , he was 65 years old ,not something we expected but with being on dialysis 3 times a day , diabetic , amputee and dealing with heart problems for so long as he did ...we did know eventually the day would come. I've been dealing with that and focusing on healing the pain for it is a long and hard process and does not help when you are thousands of miles away from your family . Perhaps that is another reason why I will not allow myself to go to that dark and macabre place when I feel the need to create. I do not want death and negative thinking in my life right now and keeping positive for my entire family and my baby is the main focus, as well as trying not to be selfish of still wanting him here or dwelling on why dad is gone but more on dad is better, healed and free. I can't help but cry sometimes but it is short lived and a wave of happy emotions goes through me when I think about how he can go anywhere and not be stuck to that machine.. he is whole now, he is Albert once more .There still is a void in my life there always will be, but I try to fill that up with all the wonderful memories he left me and in that place he will forever be alive to me.

And so with all this, such as life and indeed it marches on . We grow , grieve for our losses, and await new beginnings with some wonderful some trying new life adventures. As new roads lay before us one knows not what will come our way but in the end despite everything we will have to go through ...have no regrets of taking the first step towards our unknown destined paths .

"Not all who wander are lost "

J.R.R Tolkien.